Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize