Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
