**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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