Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize