Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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