I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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