your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
