I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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