You really coming over, don't trick.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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