I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
