What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
