Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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