i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
