I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
