i may or may not be watching the land before time
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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