i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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