smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
