I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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