so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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