no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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