i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
