I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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