You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her๏ปฟ own tits and smiles at you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
