Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
