he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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