Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
