I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
