yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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