so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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