If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
