everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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