Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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