debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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