ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
