I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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