I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I am available for nakedness
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
