i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
