I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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