We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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