dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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