ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
