Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
