I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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