420 ftw
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
