He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize