I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Can I color on your dick again?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
