I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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