doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
