Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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