there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
