we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
did you just send me my own nude
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
