After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
