I'm really into asian looking animals
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
