Nicole vs. Life
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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