Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
