Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
