Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
