Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
