White coat. Heels.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
