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Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
