This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
