There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize