I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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