We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
